Out versus At Home

First, I went out

Like many of you when I was born, technically I was out: in a maternity ward of a hospital.  I didn’t even get to be home until my parents managed to bring me home from that place.

Due to not being home-schooled, which I believe is a legitimate means of educating children when done well, I went out to go to school.

Once adult, I also went out to work, and to shop.  During both childhood and adult life so far I sometimes went out to recreate or to learn more skills, do sports or do some volunteer work or to just play around with others.  In truth, I also went out to explore.

Then I went home

I went back home after I was out for a while.  Sometimes it was so wonderful to return home.  That being the case, I admit that other times, going back home was not so great.

Home

Having a home, feeling at home, being at home in a good way is actually awesome.  Being in a situation with myself where I am able to make myself or to allow myself to really feel at home is also great.

In truth, I have felt good about myself for every time that I made where I live really be and feel like home to me.  I also liked it when I succeeded at helping someone else feel really at home when he or she (they) lived with me and I wanted them to feel and be at home with me.

Home Too Much

At some point, I had the experience of being home too much.  In those cases where the problem was that someone else or other people made me feel somehow bad for being home, I felt it was their fault.

In other cases, even when I loved being at home I would get the vibe that it had gone on too long.  Usually this would not happen until I had days of not going out in a row.  It might only take 2 or 3 days, or could take a few years of being home the vast majority of the time for me to get sick of it or to reach a point where it started to bother me.

Out Again

Going out: how well it works to resolve the feeling of having been home way too much depends on what happens.

If I was lonely and went out and made no friends, I often felt like I had failed.  If I went out to earn money and didn’t sell anything or land a job or anything like that then when I went back home I felt the outing had failed.

When I went out purely to change the vibe of having been home too much it often seemed that as long as I wasn’t harmed by being out, it helped a great deal.  In many cases, it only helped if I interacted with some people.

You (plural) = you all

You are invited to post a comment on any aspect of this subject.

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Disjointed Information – maybe poetry 2013

Awareness involves whatever is going on around oneself.

A dog invited me to go outside with her.  This time I did.  At least 4 birds moved twice because of what we did out there.  The dog may have asked me to take her out for a walk but I don’t have enough of the instructions from those closer with the animal to be ready to do something like that but I am not strongly against the idea. 

I feel I should go out today.

Last night there was such a drama that I thought this laptop had died, which would have made it difficult or impossible to send this message this way today.  I might have managed it from the nearest library.

Today, I wanted to sell more copies of my books.  I have some on hand and was going to try to do so in person. 

It is early enough in the day and late enough that I should still do it even though I cannot do it the way I had intended at 9am this morning.

I like it better when self-employment actually works and I really earn money than when I work and it doesn’t pay off which makes it feel more like being a student or a slave or indentured servant. 

When I was a school girl I diligently did my work even though they did not pay me.  As a grown woman in the work world I sometimes wonder if that was the right thing to do or was actually a mistake because i should work more when people pay me given that I am not living in a Communist society.

I realize that if everyone was financially equal regardless I would probably feel more successful today than when I feel that no matter what I do, the expectation in general is that if it works properly I will be financially much wealthier and if it doesn’t pay well then there is a problem.  I do not agree that money is always the best judged but I had wanted to do well financially.  It does get weird.

Thursday 2013 : ‘Writer’s Digest’ (not allowed due to copyright laws)

It is windy and cooler again in Saxony today. 

As an author and writer, how has today been so far?  It has been emotional, with some hope of landing more clients and going through a very difficult transition because of the need to actually do new things or to re-apply behaviors to help market two of the works of which I am the author, when more could really use it.