Valentine’s Day

Exclusivity in Love

Despite all the talk against the sanctity of exclusive marriages between only one man and only one woman…St. Valentine continued to encourage this type of Christian behavior in the 200 A.D. amongst the Romans.

Imagine: how it must be or must have been when it really was having to buck the system if you love someone and actually want to be able to have only one another….and for it to be considered an act of rebellion, not religiously, but socially.

Wow, even will all of my own tendencies and issues and liberality, even I see the sense of one-man with one-woman marriages; the safety for child rearing etc…but also thanks to at least remembering pure loves….people who really don’t want “a bunch of lovers” but just a real love, a real spouse, just one.

Really Radical?!

Believe it or not, St. Valentine was a real person, a man who lived as a Priest of the Christian church in the 200s when the Roman Empire was still going.  In truth, all he did was perform marriage ceremonies for young soldiers, and he would marry people into exclusive couplings despite the Roman Imperial Government being against both at the time when he did it.

Take a breathe and enjoy how internationally common place: one man with one woman marriages really are nowadays in early 2019.

From this perspective it really almost seems crazy that St. Valentine ran into trouble for marrying people like that, but in fact he ran into such severe difficulty that he ended up being martyred: he was politically assassinated for marrying people that way.

Freaky, or what?!

I don’t know about you, but from my perspective that is freaky.  He should not have been killed for such a small gesture of religious freedom and sanctity.

Evolution of a Holiday

Well, like so much in the Protestant realms, the Catholics have ‘slipped us another Catholic Saint Day’ as a cultural holiday.  The holiday has evolved into a day to honor and revere love.

Many people focus on the romantic or sexual aspect of love at the Holy Day, but like so many millions of others, even though I just turned 51 years old I still also really like all the other kinds of love, and enjoy celebrating the holiday regardless of whether or not I get to celebrate with a hubby.

Personally

My personal height of heights for Valentine’s Day is that I received my first accepted wedding proposal on Valentine’s Day in 1991.  I said yes and we wed the first day of Spring, both of which are gloriously romantic.  What punctures this balloon of joy is that the man who I married has barely spoken to me in years and we were divorced just as our marriage was getting started in 1993 after some of the worst first 2 years imaginable but not because he was a deployed soldier in the American or ancient Roman military.  I strongly feel it would be way more romantic if we were looking forward to our 28th wedding anniversary this year.

Despite that, both my mother and my son often get Valentine’s from me, as have a number of others…Some profoundly sexual and romantic in nature, others as most definitely not as the pets or other same gendered children in an elementary school class.

Yours

Here’s to hoping that you have some kind of wondrous and blessed Valentine’s Day; may you all experience God’s love in both the distinctively personal and in the abstract today.

artistic blossom bright clouds

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

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Wedding Jewelry

Wedding Jewelry Take 1

Most people, especially women, love wedding jewelry.  The diversity of style, color, stones and price and everything they symbolize is so impressive, beautiful and romantic.

I am no different in this respect.

The Sad Truth

So far in my life, despite having married, I have only about 9 years of experience being legally married and it took 3 different men, just to get me those precious 9 years and to stick me with short term marriage instead of being married for over 20 years now as intended when I got married.

Making Proper Use of This Information

Despite everything sad about how I came into the information, I want to make some happy use of various observations I have made from having spent some time married and some time not married about wedding jewelry.

Observations

  • Some people believed to be friends and members of the opposite sex disappear the moment they see wedding jewelry.   That definitely tells you something.
  •  Wedding jewelry is a great ‘ice breaker’ for conversations.
  •  There are people who have more respect for women who are wearing wedding jewelry.
  •  If you are ever seen wearing wedding jewelry but then go even one day without wearing it, people will wonder whether it means you are having marital problems or about to get divorced, even if it is that you are going to work out, and the ring doesn’t fit whenever your hands get hot and puffed up, or you are going to be doing any type of work that might endanger your precious ring.
  •  Wedding bands can be cheap and to the point.
  •  Wedding jewelry can both protect the wearer against unwanted sexual / romantic interest, and can be depressing because it makes potentially interested persons unwilling to even try to have a friendly and harmless 5 minute live chat.

Observations 2

These are about going without wedding jewelry during one’s marriage.  This can occur for various reasons.  In this case, I am only going to write about dealing without wedding jewelry even when there is not definitive “marital trouble” instead of when going without the jewelry because there is a marital problem.

  •  There is no distinction made between your girlfriend or boyfriend and your wife or husband.  This can be soothing for couples who were together long before marriage and had honest respect for their romance.
  •  This can be troublesome in that people think your beaux or toy boy has not become your spouse, when really the relationship is more serious (in a good way) than others may have been led to believe.
  •  People, or single people, remain friendlier.  Bear in mind, that one of the observations is that the vast majority of ‘interest’ leads not to adultery but to 5 minutes of conversation at a workplace or means that someone will sit with you at lunch in the breakroom at work.
  • One may accidentally prevent friendships with other married people because neither they nor others saw the ring and tried to befriend you thanks to the fact that you are married; this is in contrast to the people to steered cleared of you once they saw the same thing.

Final Comments

In all seriousness, one should try to be aware of the intentions and influences of wedding jewelry and sensitivity to how wearing it, or going without it, may give certain messages.

Please be aware that despite my own failures I am a staunch supporter of intact families and good marriages.  True love, stable homes, families and finances are healthy for the entire society, are what God recommends and can make life quite nice.  I have been trying to get a permanent (50+ year long) partner since about age 17 years.  I am nearly 51 and have quite a past but not the stable past of “wow am I ever just still married for quite a while now…having crested over the Silver anniversary halfway point towards a 50th wedding anniversary.”

Rather than abuse my suffering, just enjoy the observations and make use of them in your own life; or post comments about your life and observations about wedding jewelry.