Maiden, Mother & Crone: mother > crone

Stages of Life (for women):  Although in the TV show Merlin they referred to the Triple Goddess, all they were referring to are the 3 main stages of adult female life: the maiden or young woman, next the mother which just means she’s older and has child/ren, then lastly the crone: normally menopausal and quite possibly grandchildren or at least old enough to have grandchildren and even adult grandchildren and great-grandchildren (old has several levels itself).

Today’s post is about later stages of the mother.  I’m nearly 51 years old and have an “adult child” rather than a child.  While still firmly middle aged based on an 85 year life span, maybe more or a little less, that’s about it….I’m as much older as a 30 year old as my 23 year old offspring is to a 3 year old….as much older as it takes a human to go from conception to adulthood.

At some point it dawned on me that for many people “middle age” is the longest period of life.  However, I’ve also met enough older people to see that youth may in fact be the shortest phase.  During youth and one’s 20s it really doesn’t seem like most of one’s life was just the warm up for the reality; the vast majority of life spent as an adult.

Teens & Perimenopause

What these 2 phases in life have in common are major hormonal fluctuations that can cause mood swings, behavioral and psychological changes or even personality changes.  Self-identification can also shift.  (In truth, pregnancy can be even more drastic but that’s a story for another day).

Both phases have everything to do with human reproductive power.

Differences

Teens develop into being able to be mothers and adults.  During perimenopause, we’re heading towards the exit door: been there, done that.  All finished with baby making, thanks so much.

During either phase it can seem like it isn’t just a phase, but it is.  Perimenopause lasts as long, or longer than being a teenager does.  Freaky, but true.

Changes

Whether or not something is a blessing, a curse or something else can depend on how it is interpreted.  Perhaps because I was single or due to religious beliefs/interest, when perimenopause struck me at age 46 years I at first believed that God had finally answered a prayer that I stop being tortured by intense sexual desire regardless of whether or not acting on it would be okay.  Right before I wrote this post, I read some other lady’s: married women may suffer new kinds of anxiety about how to keep her husband happy when she stops experiencing nearly as much sexual desire….Which was really nothing more than a plot by Nature to persuade us to engage in behavior liable to lead to babies and raising more people.

For my own sake, it really felt like a blessing…and really did just feel like I was no longer being tortured by built-in desires.  It did not make it so that I have absolutely zero sexual desire, responsiveness or interest but like I was no longer in chronic danger of being overwhelmed by intense energies that I struggled with for control over my own behavior during some of my life.  I hadn’t ever meant to either deny nor to make too much of sexual energies.  I didn’t find it that easy to keep the proper balance of them in relation to my own lifestyle for 30 years; then finally some relief.

It did make enough of a difference that I realized that had I still been married, it would have become about how to convince my husband that I still love him when instead of his lustful, passionate wife I was suddenly satisfied with a hug and trying to avoid sex….it seemed like a good husband might wonder if I were having an illicit affair and that explained the sudden lack of sexual interest.

No need to make babies = no need to feel horny.

I’m a fairly learned person, so I do recall reading that the great Athenian philosopher Socrates wrote that for men, the greatest gift of older age is being able to think straight because the cloudiness caused by sexual desire wanes.

But seriously folks, what else?

The adventure of perimenopause mainly means that 25 years of menstrual regularity suddenly became irregular.

The most shocking discovery was that those tiny daily panty liners are for older women more so than for 12 to 15 year old girls.  I never would have believed it until it started happening to me.

The first month I had a weird period I thought it was either a miracle from God or a type of witchcraft I hadn’t run into before.  By the 3rd month I realized that it was just Mother Nature….Since it began, some months are almost the same as when I was 30 but much of the time it is much less and lighter flow.

A lot of the time, my periods are only as much in an entire week as one day of heavy flow at ages 30 and 40.

Then, in my later 40s, for the first time since I’d gotten pregnant well over ten years earlier, I just didn’t menstruate.  That went on for a few months.  Right after I had concluded that I never would again, I did.

The last month of being 50 the big thrill on that front was that I menstruated in December for the first time since I was 47 years old.  Weird.

Benefits

Aside from not being tormented by excessive sexual desire with no husband, there have been a few other benefits of perimenopause: less fuss and filth and reduced expenses of feminine products.

For me personally, the greatest benefit has been an emotional evenness or reduced emotional reactivity that I really like.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t have any emotional reactions, but it is less drastic than when I was younger.  It is possible that this is only 20% the result of hormones and the rest is based on other factors, but I suspect that it is 99% hormonal changes, and only 1% any changes in personal character or personality.

Sorry if that doesn’t seem great to you; those are really all the benefits as far as I can tell so far.

German Stereotypes

Kraft Klub (German band)

For foreigners

Germans are well aware that foreigners have tendencies to see them in certain ways.  Which region of the world they are dealing with has some influence of how they are seen.

They know that people to the West of Germany, especially French and English speaking peoples tend to jump to certain conclusions.  Some right, others wrong.

  1.  Germans are frightening powerful yet unpleasant and speak a difficult language that native speakers of English wouldn’t wish upon their worst enemies….except maybe the Germans (ha ha ?)
  2.  NaZi ism.  This is related to item #1, but also involves the perpetuation in the USA at least where there are very old Jewish people who’s native language is either German or Polish, who have American grandchildren.  They moved due to the NaZi Party.

3. Still related: in the USA for propaganda reasons, the vast majority of information        that Americans get about the Germans and the German language is WW2 re-runs.  Due to this most Americans only know a few German words they learned while watching WW2 related documentaries or TV shows or movies.

4.  Frau und frauline:  Germany is full of happy, blonde women with large breasts who serve beer for a living, at least until they get married and have children.

There are people who have a more current image of Germany.  In 2012 it was rated the most popular European country, internationally.

True Stuff about Germans

They can be rather serious, mostly because the Summer is not that warm and people can be hard.   German is not that easy to speak but when German there is no choice if one hopes to get anywhere in life.

Germans do tend to be proud but sometimes also uniquely sensitive.  They know that if they were not so great and powerful they would not be and have been so dominant in Europe both in peace time and in war time.  They know that both North American nations and the Russians viewed them as “the Villain” in 2 world wars.  Because of what they have been through as a people, they also feel that the nation degenerated to having been a menace for awhile….but Germans and what is Germany is really much more complicated….Given that the modern “German state” is about 120 years old, but there have been German speaking people living in the same region for 2000 years and more.  In fact, the “First Reich” really was 1000 years of Germany being a Catholic Empire and simultaneously the remainder of the Western Roman Empire.  *Personally, despite having learned this I find it hard to break through the American-Hollywood images of the Romans and of the Germans to accept this basic truth.

Germans have poor sense of humor.  Well, they don’t have the gentlest or most consistent senses of humor but I can assure you that they are less likely to laugh at jokes in English when travelling outside of Germany and dealing with using their “holiday English”.   I’m sure there are numerous incidents in which some German didn’t get the joke.

administration architecture berlin building

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Boxing Day 2018

Back to work already?

Today, while going about my business I came across some people who were already back at work after the holiday.  I was a little surprised by some of what they told me.

The reason I was surprised was simply because I am the kind of person who genuinely loves having time with relatives and friends at the holiday.  I’m sure I’m one of hundreds of millions of people who feel the same way.  However, I am happy to report that some of the people who were already back at work felt pretty okay or even better about being there.  It was just that I had expected that either they would feel as if they had to lie to me about it, or that most of the people who worked today would have been miserable about not having had more time to enjoy their relatives and friends.

Christmas Day

Due to my personal preferences and stage in life and spiritual interest, I actually spent almost the entire day on Jesus.  Again, I’m sure that my being actively oriented that way at the religious holiday commemorating Jesus’s birth is something that hundreds of millions of people around the world also did, but for me it was somewhat special because it was voluntary and I did it that much more than I have done most years so far in my life.

If you did to, I hope you felt wonderful about it.

Good wishes

This is just to wish you all well, and hope that you are either continuing to enjoy what Christmas does to your life and the lives of those you love, or that you are glad that the craziness has already passed you by.

Spiritual Tidbits

 

 

 

 

gray turtle
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The Spirit in Nature

Many people still claim to feel spiritually uplifted when walking in natural surroundings which they prefer.

The order of the natural world is still one of the major premises in many of the logical arguments that lead to the logical conclusion that God definitely and obviously exists.

It has been said that mathematics is humans reading the mind of God.

Remember: Nature was made by God and that includes people.  In Judaism and Christianity, God told the people that God created humanity in His image (please don’t get hung up on gender).  One understanding of what this means is that the self-awareness and awareness of the outside world that humans are capable of, is what makes humans of such interest to God.  Humans are the only earthly creature capable of noticing and interacting with God.

Spiritual Practices Effect Awareness

One rebuff of nay-sayers is to point out that it is actually true that practicing a religion enable a person to develop awareness that may not develop otherwise.  This is a bit like learning any other skill.  Prior to learning a skill one may or may not even be aware of it.  In some cases, there is awareness, but that’s it.

To use an unrelated example: Cashiers.  Nearly everyone is aware of being served by cashiers.  Far fewer people have experience being one.  Not everyone who has been trained to be a functional cashier has had the exact same experience with it, depending on when they learned it and in what context.  However, it is still true that often enough, if you have been trained as a cashier and were competent, there are certain things you will tend to do, and/or to notice.  Just one example that I still tend to do, is making the bills face the same way and often arrange them by denomination.

By analogy, spiritual practices that people engage in have real effects.  Those who meditate and fast will have information and experience unlike those who only pray briefly or at church but are great about giving to charity.

The bottom line: Consider the source: the criticisms made by the ignorant are less reliable than the criticisms or comments of those trained and experienced in a given area.

Ability is not equally distributed

Even in spiritual matters, there is as much diversity of talent and ability as we find in sports, academic areas and in types of work.  This means that any person may be naturally better or worse with respect to spiritual awareness and behavior.

The relief for everyone who suffers from not having a great natural (God given, by the way) ability is permitted or even encouraged to pray for God to provide the power to achieve what would naturally be impossible.  There are people God loves to use to do things that the person really doesn’t have the natural ability to do; it is not a scam.

This also means that it is not wise to take the advice of those who don’t know about spiritual matters, but it also means to have patience and mercy with those who have no special blessing or spiritual talent, and as a consequence they may have no natural interest nor great insight into God.  

General Information about Philosophy

the most concise work of applied philosophy ever known

Straight answers from a know-it-all

Do you know what it is?

In truth, during childhood I had no idea what philosophy was.  My mother knew, but never thought of it as being anything she needed to tell me about.  As a 16 year old I read a book by an Englishman named Alan Watts.  Mainly I remember only that it was a nice little book and a I liked it.  I liked a lot of what I read.  Little did I know back then, that it was written by one of the first major 20th century thinkers who attempted to understand the Buddhists from a English, Christian background that so many of us have.

If you already know what it is, you may not find this blog post particularly interesting, but if not: here we go.

Philosophy

This is a wide ranging subject area.  Like most academic ‘knowledge areas’ it is more attractive to some and less so to others.  Examples of questions a person has that may indicate an interest in philosophy:

What is Time?        What does it all mean?              Is that True?

Is there any such thing as objective truth?      Is morality absolute or relative?

                                                     How do I know if God is real?

Is our perception of truth and reality dependent upon how the human mind works?

Is it all just neurons firing in the brain?!

     Is it all just hormones?

Can I really come to know by thinking the right way?

Is the scientific method really that important?

Is it related to how the human brain works?

What Next?

If you do ask questions of those kinds and are interested in getting actual answers, one of the things you can do is learn more about philosophy.  One way to do that, is to buy the booklet Five Big Questions in Life and how to answer them.

There are lots of books and lots of philosophers.  By the way, there are and have been women in philosophy for over 1000 years.  It is true that as usual, the gender difference made a difference.  Because of how it does 500 years ago the most successful women philosophers were married noble women who exchanged letters with one of the most prominent male philosophers of that generation.  In fact, Women Philosophers of the Early Modern Period is one example of that type.  It is true that throughout history because of gender and social-political challenges, there have been times when women were able to contribute to the field more effectively than at other times.  This is not intended to denigrate in any way the reality that most of the great tomes of wisdom out there were put together by men who depended upon women to do the bulk of the raising of their children, which helped make them able to do what they did.  Even so, I just wanted to make sure that both men and women know that women have been involved in the field.  In the 20th century, the philosopher/ess Ayn Rand was able to articulate an entire organized philosophy but ultimately one of her most trusted male adult student-admirers is the one who wrote it up in the book Objectivism

Personal Favorites

Here are some of my personally favorite philosophers:  Gottfried Wilhelm Hegel, Friedrich Nietzsche, Thomas Aquinas, Marcus Aurelius, Socrates & Plato, Aristotle. I have not ever agreed with any of them about everything.

As a woman, I am always glad when any of us achieves anything profound, and I also greatly admire Luce Irigaray, Ayn Rand as well as Simone de Beauvoir and in fact, some of those ladies from that book Women Philosophers of the early modern period.

Louise Andreas-Salome gets a special vote for “women who tried” because she was able to get through an idea or two: I believe she was a Christian believer and had an idea about “a victimless society”.  Mainly, she was able to help women get access to being taught well and have prominent male philosophers as guest speakers.

Weird Stuff about Philosophy

  1. Philosophy brand cosmetics.  They are a real company and I don’t understand what happened.
  2.  The philosophy of a business or organization is often summed up into a concise paragraph; the vast majority of time is spent in implementing and/or attempting to implement some pithy philosophical wisdom or insight.
  3.  Many people jump to conclusion that people good at philosophy are not going to earn money or are impractical people.
  4.  While numerous people seem to believe that everyone interested in philosophy is an atheist, there is a whole other school of thought that describes philosophy as simply being theology’s maid servant.
  5.  Biblical factoid:  because I was fascinated by Athenian philosophy and am one of the horde of people who love Jesus, I wondered how to view them together…Then, eventually, I discovered that everyone can read in the book of Acts, what happened to the apostle Paul when he actually went to Athens, during that very time often covered in Ancient Philosophy: the Greeks in philosophy courses at colleges and universities.

Conclusions

I hope that those of you who didn’t already know what this subject area is about, have some clue thanks to this blog post.  As with most things in life, some people are drawn to it and love it whereas others find it either empty or unpalatable.   This blog post was written by someone who has studied a wide variety of subjects but for some reason loved philosophy.

Five Big Questions in Life and how to answer them

the most concise work of applied philosophy ever known

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Does it matter?

Perhaps you are having one of those days when you are actually asking yourself questions such as:  Does my life matter?  or just What does it all mean?  If so, there are a few simple approaches to handling this.  One, if possible you should get a hug from someone who cares about you.  Two, you should either read a bit of philosophy or go to a church service, or three: all of the above.

This is one of the questions directly addressed in the booklet shown in the image with this post.  Not only that, but it’s only $13.50 and can be delivered right to your door.  Here’s a link: Five Big Questions in Life and how to answer them

How do know what’s true anymore?

Let’s just say that the headline describes your subjective mental state.  It could be because you aren’t sure whether or not your spouse is cheating on you.  It might be caused by having found a crook at the company you work for, or because you recently suffered from an online scam.

Whatever the reason, this is a fairly serious question.  Let’s rephrase it just slightly: how does any of us know what’s true in the first place?  Often we trust authority and experts: this is normally the case whether we mean a religious cleric or a school instructor who claims to have received trusted information from scientific researchers.  In both cases, whether from The Bible or History of the Universe we are faced with serious efforts to get at truth and knowledge.

Philosophy also seeks truth and knowledge.  If you are an avid and vigorous reader or lengthy works you can start with the link at the beginning of this paragraph, but if you just want the short answer, you can click on the link for the booklet above.

Either the human mind contains the power to perceive the truth or does not.  If so, then either we can get to it from: God, and or from thought and or from sense experience.  If we can get to it in any of those ways, we still have to look into methods.  There are spiritual methods, and there are also philosophical and scientific methods for getting at the truth.  In Five Big Questions in Life and how to answer them, I help readers see how these basic principles work and how they show up in daily life.

Sadly, I am not in a position to call your boyfriend or girlfriend for you and explain what happened…nor am I in a great position to call you right now and talk you through your present problem.

If it is mainly emotional unrest, please take a few deep breaths and maybe go for a walk.  I do also recommend getting a hug if you can get one from someone you trust at this time.  If it still seems important after you’ve calmed down, buy the booklet and delve into this more deeply.

If you love the booklet you can come back to this article and find the links to books that cover the same topic in more depth.

Writer’s Advice – what’s that?! 2018

the most concise work of applied philosophy ever known

Author’s Advice

There are many ways that people can get advice. The most obvious ways for writers to improve are to take lessons in the language they will be writing in and the old fashioned ‘read the greats’.

There are times when constructive criticism is very helpful and there are times when your enemies will only have destructive criticism and jealousy to offer you.

Two main ways to get feedback about your writing for professionals:  1) Submit!  When the editors will make changes; when the magazine or newspaper or publisher will buy it/pay for it; then that ‘s good.

Great ways to get feedback for amateurs and some semi-pros: join writer’s groups; take work shops or classes.  Peer critique is often part of such arrangements.

General to Specific

There are numerous types of writing and most writers specialize.  Many of those who have specialized don’t call themselves writers.  Grant writers, for instance, will often just say that they work for whatever organization they work at in some administrative role.  Journalists, typically prefer to be called journalists, although they could all call themselves writers and be telling the truth.  Staff writers may choose to refer to the publication where they work.  Most staff writers wouldn’t ever write “for fun” or “as just a hobby” and those that would might well not tell the truth about that.

Travel writers, book authors, niche novelists, political news, best restaurants, fashion, television, film, all have specialized types of writing.  There are people capable or more than one kind of writing, but it is common for those who are most successful in the field to find they were forcibly limited to a small subjection of the writing world in order to find a way to earn a living or to develop a good reputation in the industry.

 

Network

There are times when you have to meet and greet enough others in the industry to get a deal and other times when you really need to mail something for it to work. In some cases, the right thing to do is apply for a job and become a regularly paid publishing company editor for other authors even if you hardly get anything of your own published. Maybe you will, and maybe it won’t matter anymore.

Sometimes writers are stubborn and fail to change in ways that will cause them to have far greater success and other times people just realize that for them: to change that much would be so bad that they might as well go work in a totally different field if that’s really how it works.

Other writers tolerate a lot of painful constructive criticism and make survivable compromises and learn to be a bit more flexible and they find out that they can get a lot further and are happy with the results even though the reality ends up being unlike their original idea.