Disjointed Information – maybe poetry 2013

Awareness involves whatever is going on around oneself.

A dog invited me to go outside with her.  This time I did.  At least 4 birds moved twice because of what we did out there.  The dog may have asked me to take her out for a walk but I don’t have enough of the instructions from those closer with the animal to be ready to do something like that but I am not strongly against the idea. 

I feel I should go out today.

Last night there was such a drama that I thought this laptop had died, which would have made it difficult or impossible to send this message this way today.  I might have managed it from the nearest library.

Today, I wanted to sell more copies of my books.  I have some on hand and was going to try to do so in person. 

It is early enough in the day and late enough that I should still do it even though I cannot do it the way I had intended at 9am this morning.

I like it better when self-employment actually works and I really earn money than when I work and it doesn’t pay off which makes it feel more like being a student or a slave or indentured servant. 

When I was a school girl I diligently did my work even though they did not pay me.  As a grown woman in the work world I sometimes wonder if that was the right thing to do or was actually a mistake because i should work more when people pay me given that I am not living in a Communist society.

I realize that if everyone was financially equal regardless I would probably feel more successful today than when I feel that no matter what I do, the expectation in general is that if it works properly I will be financially much wealthier and if it doesn’t pay well then there is a problem.  I do not agree that money is always the best judged but I had wanted to do well financially.  It does get weird.

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