Today we had frost in the morning for the 2nd time. Seeing as it is Autumn this should come as no surprise. Although my offspring is now a ‘senior teen’ I am simultaneously dealing with being in my…well, let’s face it, my mid-40s and the middle of my life. Like millions of others…when I go out – even if it is just to a shop, I notice that my own situation is not the only case of some middle aged woman with her teen offspring. Child is not a stretch of the word but is one that it is becoming clear, it will be outgrown.
When I got into this situation, it was clear that I could follow through and be the mother of a young but full grown entity before age 50. While 50 seems impossibly mature and almost old from one’s early or mid-20s, if the lifespan runs to age 80 and beyond, then…well, there will still be 15 years left before “retirement age” arrives. Given the reality of my life, I doubt I will be retiring at 65 years, but it is comforting to know: there will be more life without having to look after the children even though I will have spent quite a while looking after the kid/s. Unlike many people I have only 1. The idea is to do a lot of stuff other than being a mother during this lifetime while being able to be a dedicated caring available mother instead of a constantly busy and preoccupied mother because of trying to do everything else while the baby needs me. Like so many women, it is another effort at ‘having it all’ but like with having one’s cake and eating it to, there are limited ways to do it. I have worked while my son has been growing up but not like I might have had I not had a child. I mean, seriously, I have hardly worked at all compared to those of my peers who have been steadily working full time for over 20 years in a row now…but compared to those who have not worked at all, I have worked a lot: but I have more like 12 to 15 years of full time experience over 25 years instead of 25.
Well, life goes on for everyone who hasn’t died today.