Disturbed Literature?

Today has been another day.  Some moments are barely survival, others are times of joy…It really varies moment to moment.  I attribute most of the so-called whining to the lack of a great boyfriend or something like that….but if the solution is all about me, well then, I guess the problem and solution are not a boyfriend…

So, anyways, here is one of the bands I have listening to lately.  What’s weird for me, is that I think they are younger than I am rather than older than I am.  Quite a switch.  Also, crying because of how much I could use the ego boost of actual career success like the novel coming out and things like that.  Stuff that says: well, true, you weren’t deluded and we decided to not just kick your ass even though you wanted share your talent and skill with the world like some do goody fruit cake with an ego the size of….well, some days the size of a pea – but perhaps like a black hole, or a palace, or just a small house, or Mount Everest?  Probably not…and some days, its like I don’t even have an ego but not because when I was 20 years old and my boyfriend was mad at me he would call me “Nothing” and when I told him off he would say I was “Crushing”.  That’s the only person who has ever called me “Buddha”….but I don’t know whether or not he meant it.  I married him and he divorced me afterwards, which was gut wrenching – not to mention RUDE.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfpNyJmYRHQ

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