Well, having finally been able to vacuum – strange but true, and with the new TV in the home but not so hooked up that it works….Its time to look at why getting a Lebensmittel Sofortmasshen “or something like that” is mysteriously difficult. Despite being happily American and earning money writing in English and feeling ignored by people who I tend to view as relatives “of the in-law/outlaw variety” – in truth they stay connected and help much more than many “sometime inlaws” but less than I had been led to believe…I have taken some actions to adjust to living in Germany.
One of these has been some lessons and some efforts to mingle with locals. Considering how long I have lived here: about 14 months now, nearly 15 months, it seems like I should be having a much more active social life, but I have done at least a few things. One of the practical ‘integration activities’ has been about working towards getting the German driving license. I have already been incredibly slow about this and have no good explanation for why that is. I have attended some lessons in a group and now feel more confident about what “brems” are. I already knew, but had no idea that’s what to call them in German “auf Deutsch”.
Meanwhile, I have found a few people with whom I would like to have genuine close, mutual interpersonal relationships but feel exceptionally peculiar because of forces which could be perceived as inhibitive – like distance in location and perceived implications of perceived social differences. Now I am not sure if I am more angry and sad about the jerks who want to prevent it from being able to actually occur or more annoyed with myself for having caused myself to want to be close with people who I only even know exist because they are “famous clerics from small Asiatic nations annexed by the Chinese.” Anyway, its created a bizarre feeling of comfort and discomfort.